What would you do?

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Crabby Abby
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What would you do?

Post by Crabby Abby » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:01 am

We're going to a dinner at my MIL's house this Sunday. It's hard to get us all together and it's been a while since we've done so, so she's making a meal and having us all over.She just called to tell me about something and I asked what she was making. She says, "Didn't Paul tell you? It's a new dish, I've never made it before and it has this and that and duck and such and such and it's all rolled up and - ..." I cut her off " - What?? What's in it?? Duck??" She says "yeah, it's all mixed together and - ". I said "Mum I'm sorry, I don't eat duck. Didn't Paul tell you that?" (It's a psychological thing lol, I couldn't swallow it if I wanted to. I've NEVER eaten duck.) She says "Yeah he told me but it's all mixed together. It's not like you'll see a duck laying on a platter!" I said that's not the issue, I don't eat it and asked if she'd mind if I bring a little something for myself. She snappped, "Oh Debbie now stop it, you're being silly. You won't even see it! You can eat it once."Needless to say we hung up more than a little angered by the other and if I go I'm telling you I won't eat. I'm sure the family would understand that I don't eat duck and not have an issue with my eating something different as long as I didn't make a big production out of it. It's not like it's a formal dinner!So what would you do?
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Nicole
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What would you do?

Post by Nicole » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:11 am

I would have the same problem! There are certain foods I couldn't get down even if I was paid to and duck is one of them. If it was me I know there was no way I'd be able to eat the dish; there's nothing I could do to fix that. I would prepare a second (edible) casserole and bring that along and simply offer it as a hostess gift. I know there will be hard feelings but literally gagging on a meal trying to get it down would also make your MIL upset. I think this is a fair compromise. I know many people don't understand food aversions but that doesn't mean they have a right to make you eat a dish you don't want to.
~ crabbing since 2003


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Guest

What would you do?

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:13 am

I'd go but eat everything else but that.

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breezeetew
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Location: Midwest- middle of nowhere

What would you do?

Post by breezeetew » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:28 am

I'm sure at this point, even if you took a small portion with the intention of leaving it on the plate, everyone would be watching you.That makes it harder to be polite, so I guess you are going to be the bad guy no matter what.I think what Nicole suggested about making a hostess gift of a casserole is a good idea, as is what Rachael suggested about taking a serving of everything else.I believe it was overbearing of her to decide that if you couldn't see it, she could serve it to you when she was told of your aversion.Not that it is right, but if you answer rude with rude, it is understandable. Your slight to her cooking is less than her slight to your feelings when she was told ahead of time.
I have had hermit crabs for a couple of years and still have most of my originals. I joined LHC over a year ago and have learned a lot about crab care there. I have about 50 crabs (PP, Straw and E) in my 130 gallon tank that is a feature point of my living room.
Mother of 4 humans, one canine, 3 felines and many aquarium dwellers.


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KaraJo

What would you do?

Post by KaraJo » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:34 am

I agree with Nicole that you should just bring another dish of something you can eat. It'ss hard when someone doesn't understand where you're coming from and just assumes if ou can't see it, you might forget it's there. I'd take dish that can be shared by everyone but lets you be comfortable at dinner.

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Crabby Abby
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What would you do?

Post by Crabby Abby » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:49 am

Oh you'll love this part then. She called back to tell me she'll make the same dish but without the duck. Then hubby called and said my mother's going to be calling to tell you that she's decided to leave the duck out of Sundays dinner and she told me not to tell you that she's really not!
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Guest

What would you do?

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:29 am

Sounds like something my MIL would do. We don't see eye to eye anyways. And this woman CAN NOT cook a lick.. So to stop us from arguing, I just cook the food.. lol.. But anyways, she needs to understand that not everyone has the same taste in food. And if it is something you just will not eat, then so be it. I would go as far as not going but thats just me.. My MIL knows if i don't go, no one in this house goes...

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Nicole
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What would you do?

Post by Nicole » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:31 am

She's disguising the duck? Do your MIL and my MIL know each other? I would definitely bring another dish now.
~ crabbing since 2003


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Guest

What would you do?

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:37 am

god i hope not. if so i really feel sorry for you. Is she the type that no matter what she says she is right and you just need to deal with it? And it's her way or no way?

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Crabby Abby
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Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 2:27 pm

What would you do?

Post by Crabby Abby » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:54 am

She's always been a little set in her ways, if she doesn't get what she wants she first tries to guilt you into it and then pouts over it but I'm the personality that will call her out and tease her on it and we've always gotten along.She's taking a turn for some reason. This week she called and told me, "Turn on channel 7! They're doing a show on people with frizzy hair that you can't style and showing them how to make it look nice again. You have to watch it right now."
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Guest

What would you do?

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:04 am

LMAO.. I do think they all know each other. Like once your kids get of age to be married they all join in some kind of program on how to drive daughter-in-laws crazy. Mine will call me up all the time and tell me to change over to a channel and you HAVE to watch it. And it makes me feel like she is telling me to watch it for a reason, like i am doing something wrong. She goes as far as trying to tell me how to raise my kids. This is coming from a woman who gave up one of her kids, then had 2 more and gave them to the father becasue she wanted to be a "biker chick".. Then she turned into a drug trafficer. LOL... Oh the stories i have heard. Makes me sooo mad. Even her own son (the one i am married to)knows she NUTS!


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Krabbin' Carmen

What would you do?

Post by Krabbin' Carmen » Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:13 am

Jeeesh...she sounds like my MOTHER!!! i would not eat anything she makes now....just for the principal of the thing. I mean, if she DID put in the duck and you thought not, then she would be making you look the fool since everyone else knows there IS duck! So, I would either eat a BIG snack before you go, so you can just pick at the other side dishes or bring something of your own. I know that if it was me, after going thru all the experiences with my mom (In your case MIL) she shouldn't be too surprised to see you bring something from home. Sometimes I don't even go....just to really mess her up!!! Now that the girls are older, i don't have to worry about her complaining of ThAT too! LOL Good luck deb!!!! AFLEK!@!!!Carmen


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Guest

What would you do?

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:20 am

Maybe she cooked that duck from that comercial as it aways drove me nuts listening to it.


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newhermiemami

What would you do?

Post by newhermiemami » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:09 am

I dont know how ya'll do dinners there but if you were in the south it wouldnt be any problem. When we have family dinners even if there is one person doing the main cooking you just dont show up without a dish. That would be rude. There is usually so much food no one can keep up with who ate what and you could just say "Gosh I'm so full" if she tries to put you on the spot. Bringing a dish would be my suggestion too but its just something thats automatically done here. It does make me laugh though. Especially the part about her telling you she's leaving it out but telling her son not to tell you. ROTFLMBO!!!! hahahahaha.... That is the most childish thing I've heard from an adult in a minute. hehehehe... its just comical. I'm sorry I'm laughing CA but its just so rediculous its funny. Ya know it sounds like she thinks shes YOUR mother. lol. Like one of the kind of things you'd do to your 5 year old to make him/her eat their veggies. I'm with ya though CA I cant eat somethings and its just b/c I cant get past the thought of it. I live in Louisiana and I've never in my life at alligator. I can't even concider it. I love alligators they are so cute and I want to give them hugs (except for the fact they are kind of stupid and would think I was lunch :P...ya know 'cept for that little thing). lol. I also can't eat 'coon. I can hunt them, thats fun as heck but my kin folks have to be the ones eating them. I can't eat possum or turtle. Just cant they are too cute. I can eat bambi though...bambi better watch out I grew up on bambi! hehe... Neway didnt want to make this a list of redneck foods I wont eat but I understand and its no ones place to try to force you to eat something against your will. Your a grown woman with her own children for cryin out loud! Jeesh you'd think you could make up your own mind.

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breezeetew
Posts: 212
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Location: Midwest- middle of nowhere

What would you do?

Post by breezeetew » Fri Feb 02, 2007 10:44 am

Sounds like what my brother's MIL did to him when he told her he was allergic to turkey. She claimed chicken and fed him a dish that made him SOOO sick. And then she was afraid to tell him what she did.Sneaky is not cool. Maybe it would make it worse to tell her, but I am the type to call her on it. Then I would tell her that I am bringing my own meal, thank you very much... I am not so sure I would try anything that she made if I were you.You say she pouts, she should expect some pouting in return on this one!
I have had hermit crabs for a couple of years and still have most of my originals. I joined LHC over a year ago and have learned a lot about crab care there. I have about 50 crabs (PP, Straw and E) in my 130 gallon tank that is a feature point of my living room.
Mother of 4 humans, one canine, 3 felines and many aquarium dwellers.

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