So much family drama going on right now.

LHC's social forum for all topics not hermit crab-related. Get to know your fellow LHC members here!
Locked
User avatar

Topic author
Crabber85
Posts: 1911
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:04 pm
Location: The Matrix, it has us all.

So much family drama going on right now.

Post by Crabber85 » Sat Oct 10, 2015 9:23 pm

It's been one heck of a year so far, we were supposed to have moved to Arkansas last month where my mothers new husband is located because we're having to sell our house due to the fact that he stole $14,000.00 from her a year ago and ran with it.

They spent the next six months trying to work things out and I got dragged into the middle of a huge domestic mess and so the decision was made to try to go out where he is to start over because mother wanted to try to make things work, he came and picked up a load of our furniture and boxes and took them back around Labor Day and then suddenly shows back up, drops his kids on us and hightails it back to Arkansas.

When he got back he quit all three of his jobs and in the process of quitting them he cursed his bosses out and basically burned all of his bridges, he then proceeds to demand that my mother who is the only one working send him four-hundred dollars and she did this twice so that he could supposedly fix up some trailers he has on his property so that they could be rented out.

Well she's been drawing real short checks like three-hundred on her last one just got this past week and knowing she didn't have it he had her send the majority of that money to him so he could go blow it on his cigarettes and other things.

Because he quit his jobs his utilities to his trailer were shut off for failure to make the payments and so he's been living out of a camper taking baths in a horse trough, and yesterday he informs my mother that he's not getting another job because she'd found one here for him and he told her that he didn't want anything else to do with her if she couldn't continue to send him two or three-hundred dollars every week and a woman who he'd had an affair on my mother with comes up to his property to let him know she's carrying his baby because the affair happened back around April of this year and she's exactly six months along.

He then has the nerve to tell my mother that he's going to take the baby when its born and he's going to make her raise it with his other kids and she told him she's not raising somebody else's illegitimate child the shame and reproach that would bring on her is more than she can take so they got into a huge fight on the phone and then he tells her that this woman who's carrying his baby has just come back up to his trailer and has broken all the windows out on it and beat his work truck up with a baseball bat.

He called the cops but wouldn't press charges because of the fact that the woman is carrying his child so he let her go and then has the gall to tell my mother its her responsibility to work and pay the money to have the windows replaced.

This man is living in a delusion of grandeur, he thinks that he doesn't have to work and that he can just sit on his duff and not lift a finger because he's a man and a man is entitled to do what he pleases and its the woman's place to work and earn the money to pay for his laziness.

My mother was in the process of getting a divorce from him and she called it off because he used his kids to tug at her heart strings and make her feel sorry for him so she decided to give him another chance to prove himself but unfortunately and true to my word he acted like he was going to do better and change and then quickly went right back to his old ways.

He's mentally and emotionally abusive and has a propensity for stealing what he can't afford.

I told my mother what she needs to do is go on ahead and finish the divorce and just cut him loose because he's no good for her he's toxic.

It seems like since she decided to take him back she's cursed her job, her finances and her family and now she's slowly realizing this and doesn't know what to do and I told her the first step is getting rid of him, she's bound herself down with a weight and its dragging her down to the murky depths and the only way to save herself is to cut the weight loose and let it fall away then she'll have hope of kicking up for and breaking the surface to catch a fresh breath of air.

I've noticed since she made the mistake of taking him back that she's nearly always crying and her face looks so sad but when I say anything she doesn't want to hear it because she feels like I'm being harsh or cruel when in reality I'm just being practical and logical and I'm trying to help her out of her situation the best way I know how which is the direct brute force approach where if I were in her shoes I would have already taken him to court and cleaned him out because I just don't play.

He's caused a huge division in my family she has now disowned her middle child my younger brother because he wont have anything to do with this man or his kids and she says that my brother is just being cruel and unjust about the whole situation and I'm on my brothers side because this man said some things about my sister-in-law that he should have never said and really he should have been taken out and beaten as a result but too many people interfered and so he got away thinking that he'd won when he hadn't.

This man my mother made the mistake of marrying is nothing more than a coward, liar, cheater and a thief and wont even attempt to make amends because he's so spineless.

I've got my own problems with him because he said some things about me that just weren't true essentially slandering my name and assassinating my character in an attempt to get me arrested because he does not like me because he knows he has no control or say over me and it eats him alive, he can't stand not being able to tell me what to do, when to do it and how to do it.

He and I have already butted heads on several occasions because he was attempting to challenge my adulthood and wanted to treat me like I was four years old so I ended up telling him exactly how it was and on the last occasion I even told him off.

For whatever reason he took an instant genuine dislike to me the first time he ever met me and I hadn't had any time to do or say anything to cause it and then I later found out it was because he thought I was already getting disability and was going to try to get my money from me thinking I was severely mentally challenged and wouldn't know what he was doing or even how to stop him but when he finally met me face to face he suddenly realized taking me for money I didn't have wasn't going to be so easy.

He's a major predator he preys on those weaker than he is because its an easy way to get money without having to really work for it and contrary to what he likes to tell people he's never had a job longer than three weeks in his entire life because according to his own statements he does not like to work.

He's extremely lazy and he has no pity and no compassion for others especially the handicapped and the disabled because he believes that all disabled or handicapped people are just liars who are cheating the government out of millions of dollars a year.

Its take a very special and sadistic kind of bigot to derive pleasure out of mistreating people who suffer with down syndrome, cerebral palsy, quadriplegia and the like because its these types of handicaps he hates the most.

To him they are genetic misfits who don't deserve to live in society because they have to be taken care of and given help and according to him anybody who can't work and has to live off the state shouldn't be allowed to live at all, he told me that autistics were worthless because we are leeches feeding off of the taxpayers and since we can't function in the real world there's no reason or use for us to be left alive.

Like I said he's sadistic and has a very narrow mind, its okay for him to sit at home not working loosing everything he has but its not okay for handicapped individuals such as myself to even ask for help....
Hi I have autism so I tend to answer questions very directly and with little emotion so please don't think I'm being rude.
#Autism Speaks.

User avatar

aussieJJDude
Administrator
Administrator
Posts: 4269
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:12 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: So much family drama going on right now.

Post by aussieJJDude » Sun Oct 11, 2015 2:52 am

Wow, that was painful to read. *Hugs*
Hopefully things will settle out soon and you can get your life back to speed. Hopefully you have a "safe place" to get away from these drama's; it's important not to get overwhelmed by the situation and continue to support your family in seeking help.
Crabs || Fish || Shrimp || Snails || Plants || Insects

25G Nano Freshwater || 64G Freshwater Community || 90G Fancy Goldie Pond || 64G Crabitat
I've never had any problems with 'Impulse Buying'... They're just things I forgot I had planned to get || Self Designated 'HCA Pic Fan' 2012+

User avatar

Laurie LeAnn
Posts: 989
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:31 am

Re: So much family drama going on right now.

Post by Laurie LeAnn » Sun Oct 11, 2015 9:53 pm

That's a user, a leech, a scammer and things are not going his way so he is getting meaner. Your mom doesn't want to hear the truth..She knows it and it's hurting her. He probably has also verbally abused her to the point where she is afraid and tough love just makes it worse.. try mom I will be here for you.. let's do this TOGETHER.. He isn't any good.. look what he has done. You're not happy..you cry all the time, he has took all your money, he quit his job and doesn't want to work..is that fair to you was that fair to my dad that he treat that way? This guy doesn't love you! A person that loves you doesn't cheat on you...

User avatar

Topic author
Crabber85
Posts: 1911
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:04 pm
Location: The Matrix, it has us all.

Re: So much family drama going on right now.

Post by Crabber85 » Mon Oct 12, 2015 12:17 am

Yeah he's pretty much the worst kind of person you can imagine because he is so cold and heartless, when he found out that my sister is pregnant with momo's or twins that share the same sack he was less than enthused about it because that was a big deal for my mother and he wanted her to leave her old family behind and come to him and pretend she never had her kids because according to him he's replacing my dad as her husband since my dad is deceased and because he's dead his kids essentially died with him so we don't count anymore we are to be completely forgotten and only my mothers step children are to be counted because their dad has a really screwed up way of thinking and can't get it through his thick neanderthal head that he's never going to replace my dad because my dad was twice the man he could ever hope to be and his children don't compare to us because my mother never gave birth to them its a whole different kind of love she has for them being that they are estranged from her seeing her as an outside intruder and they think she should be treated as child being told what she can and can not do because that's the mentality their father has put in them that women are property and no better than cattle.

He's instilled in them that a wife is beneath the husband and is owned by the husband because that's the way he was raised that women have no worth and should not be treated as equals and are subject to the male children who should then tell the women what she can and can not do just as if they also owned her by extension of being the offspring of their father.

@Laurie LeAnn, yeah you pretty much nailed it on the head and I have tried to be supportive but she just wouldn't go for it because she doesn't want any support emotional or otherwise because she is stubborn and still wont admit she's made a horrible mistake though she did tell me tonight that she can't handle his boys anymore they have worn out their welcome because they are ungrateful and obnoxious it doesn't matter how much she does for them nothing is ever right or good enough because its not like their dad would do it because he's always done things wrong and they have gotten used to this erroneous way of doing things so when we do them the right way it just doesn't sit well with them because its not what they are used to.

They have cost us almost $400 in groceries in just the last three weeks because they are eating us out of house and home and because they think we are rich they ask for everything they see and when they are told no they get upset and throw temper tantrums, they are very destructive because their daddy never taught them how to behave in polite society they tend to be rude, hateful and prone to breaking things if they can't get their way.

I told my mother that if my father had seen his kids doing half the things that these two boys do my brother and I would not have been able to sit down for a week, I guess I grew up with a better example for a dad he actually cared for and loved his children and would sacrifice anything he had to to provide for us whereas their dad would rather let his boys go hungry and have no power or water running to his trailer because he simply does not care about them, he uses them to gain pity with others so that he can get free handouts based on helping his kids and then they never see anything he will use all the money on himself because he is self centered and greedy and doesn't know how to put someone else first.

Tonight my mother made the statement that she is just going to have to take them back because they are getting out of control and their daddy sold his truck to pay off some bills and left himself with no way to go so he can't bring their school books to us because we are supposed to be home schooling them through the Arkansas school system and because he has wasted three weeks getting their books to us the school system is threatening to have the truancy officer come out and arrest him for not having his kids in school.

They can't be registered here he tried last year because he doesn't have legal custody of them he had temporary one year custody when they were one and two years old and now they are eleven and twelve so he hasn't had custody of them for ten years which the state of Georgia said constituted the children being abducted and so they were going to have to report the abduction to the children's mother and let her know where they were at in order to get them enrolled here so he freaked out and ran back to Arkansas because he knows the cops out there they refuse to arrest him for keeping his children illegally.

He tried getting full custody of them several months ago and the Judge turned him down saying that he his not stable enough with his work history to be responsible for caring for the kids and recommended that they be returned to their mother but he refused so if he tries to get them enrolled in school here he could be arrested on the spot and he knows it.

I'm going to live with my sister I told her I would help her with her babies for two years and then I moving out and getting my own place.
Hi I have autism so I tend to answer questions very directly and with little emotion so please don't think I'm being rude.
#Autism Speaks.

User avatar

Topic author
Crabber85
Posts: 1911
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:04 pm
Location: The Matrix, it has us all.

Re: So much family drama going on right now.

Post by Crabber85 » Sat Oct 17, 2015 1:38 am

*Update 10/17/15*, my mother just told me that her husband wants a divorce because he feels like a walking curse and I told her months ago that he was cursed and that anybody who had anything to do with him would be cursed as well by virtue of association and since she decided to call the divorce off back in August her life has crumbled around her everything seems to be just going against her and I told its because she took him back and didn't go through with the divorce when she should have and now she's brought all this bad karma on herself.

Right after she took him back she lost her job, we got denied on our loan modification and it has also crippled our efforts at selling our house we've had close to ten couples come out and look at the house and only one of them showed any interest but then that got blocked not to mention that she is in debt with a twenty thousand dollar credit card bill that he ran up and ninety something thousand dollars with the hospital where she had to have surgery to remove a massive kidney stone so she is now looking at having to file for bankruptcy likely chapter eleven because she can not pay her debts off and she is being harassed on a daily basis by several debt collecting agencies.

Things were going good for us while she was pursuing the divorce back in March her job was safe and the house payments were being made and then all of the sudden she let this leech back in her life and everything took a turn for the worst, things were looking optimistic for my disability claim the Social Security Administration was really looking favorable for me because the tests I had to take were exactly what they needed and then all the sudden I got denied and two subsequent appeals were turned down for no reason at first they said they had all the evidence they needed to get me started and then in the span of a month it went to being that they didn't have enough evidence and that just didn't stack up and my attorney even made the statement that things were going so smoothly so he didn't understand why I'd been turned down out of the blue.

He did some digging around and found out that for no reason at all my Social Security number had been randomly mixed up with my fathers at the last possible minute which resulted in my claim being dismissed because they were attempting to use my deceased fathers work history to say that I'd been working since 2002 but I was in middle school then so there was no way I was working at an industrial plant at the age of twelve.

I share the same name as my father and apparently the department of labor got my SS number crossed with his when the Social Security Administration requested my work record/history which I've only had one job back in 06' working retail and my attorney was using the fact that I had no other jobs to prove that the reason for that was that I was being denied based on my autism and vision impairment but the department of labor somehow messed that up and they couldn't explain how it happened because it shouldn't have so he had to take six weeks to straighten it out.

I really believe that my Social Security claim would have went through the first time no problems if she hadn't taken her husband back because it seems like wherever he goes bad things follow him its almost like he's jinxed and anybody who is around him gets jinxed, his own brothers and sisters wont have anything to do with him because they said that when they tried to help in back in the past it only messed their lives up costing them jobs and homes and after you hear the same thing from a large group of unrelated people you start to think that maybe there is a little something more to the whole thing.
Hi I have autism so I tend to answer questions very directly and with little emotion so please don't think I'm being rude.
#Autism Speaks.

Locked